The Ryder Cup

Due to the time difference and our different weedend over here, I got to see almost every shot played at the K club last week. It seemed like every Irish person in Dubai was packed into my apartment to see the sights of home over the eagerly awaited show down between Europe and America. The apartment was nearly in tears when we saw the first sights of home, the dew slowly lifting from the grass in the morning sunlight.

Sharon carried the show adequately, a bit wooden though for some of it. Still though I think I am going to marry that woman. Tiger's first shot was greeted with a huge cheer from the already less than sober crowd as it sailed into the crystal waters of the K club.

The only bad thing about the television feed that we were getting over here was the fact that we had to listen to two of the worst commentators I've ever heard for any sport in the world and that is including Len Dineen's commentary of Munster matches. When Darren Clarke stepped up to hit his first ball of the weekend here's what the commentator said:

"And isn't it great to hear that wonderful reception Darren Clarke is getting from the crowd and his wife dead"

They then went on to say what an ''unfortunate incident'' it had been, as if he had lost a tenner or something.

Our favourite moment of the weekend was not a golfing moment but the following. It started like this.........

And ended like this........

Remided me of a certain engineering trip to Moneypoint power station.....

Ramadam Kareem

The holy month of Ramadam has begun, this means a month of no eating or drinking during daylight hours. We are four days into it and the hardest thing I am finding is just remembering that I can't even sip a bit of water in public. In my line of work this is very hard as I am speaking all day.

One of the other problems is that I am working with a certain person who normally I offer a breath mint to every day. Without this I cannot speak to this person for a whole month, as the smell would knock a horse.

It's not all bad during this month though. Working hours are now from 8.30 to 2pm and after the sun goes down most restaurants offer unbelievable food. The meal is called Iftar. It is the meal that you eat after a day of fasting. I'm not sure if all this fasting and then stuffing yourself is all that healthy. I've been reading a lot of papers telling you that it is actually good for you but I am not convinced. Anyway, payday is this week so expect some photos soon when I buy a camera.

Road trip no. 1

Bored with the highlife already, 6 of us headed off into the desert for a bit of soul searching. Armed with two landrovers we left the traffic of Dubai and drove up the coast for about two hours to find the biggest waterpark in the middle east. On the way to the park there was literally a line you cross when you are suddenly in the desert.

You pass over a cattle grid, well actually it's a camel grid. Suddenly the landscape changes from skyscrapers to desert. Exactly like any photo of the desert you have seen. Just hundreds of miles of sand. It is a beautiful site. The roads are pretty dangerous because in some parts the sand drifts have completely covered the road. You could drive for a mile on sand hoping to see a bit of tarmac soon! And then there are the camels. Unlike Ireland when you see the sign for deer crossing. Here when you see the sign for camel crossing, you really have to have your wits about you. Those things can move. They come out of no where.

Reaching the waterpark called Dreamland I was beginning to get excited. But to my disappointment, the slides did not live up to my expectations. They were good, but not brilliant. My disappointment was short lived however when we found the in pool bar. You literally sit on a seat in the water, at a table just above the waterline while the waitresses paddle over to you to take your order and return with anything from beer to pina coladas. Sitting there in the midday sun, was the first time it really hit me that I am actually in Dubai!

Rosey

Just in case you are reading this blog and are getting the picture that Dubai is the bee all and end all, it does have it's own problems:

1. There is no such thing as queues. People just have no concept of forming a line to get something. Develop your elbow powers before coming out here.

2. Bar staff are by far the slowest in the world. There is a system in every bar where you order your drink. The barman takes your money. He gives it to the cashier. The cashier registers the order. The barman gives you your drink. Then the cashier puts your money in the till and counts out your change. He waits for your barman to collect the change and eventually the money gets back to you. A very complicated system. On more than 5 occasions I have waited 20 minutes for my change to come back to me.

3. Driving. You are literally taking your life in your hands. I have never gotten to school without seeing at least one pile up on the motorway. It's hard to explain how crazy the drivers are over here. They just have no concept of keeping distance from the car in front. 120 kmph and they are up your arse as if you were waiting in traffic lights. Indicating is still unheard of here. Statisticaly, the part of the car changed most often is the horn! In the paper today is a survey on driving safety. When asked "What should you do when you come across an accident?" over 50% of people answered: "stop and take a photo"

Fore

Two years ago I retired from the golfing circuit. Partly because I had no motivation to get better and partly because I could not stand the shite people talked about on the golf course. "My car is bigger than yours", "Yes but I've got a bigger limit on my credit card". Made me think that these men are compromising for something else.....

Anyway, last night I reconsidered taking back up the game. Here is the reason why.

The other half of the reason is that I like to dress up in "poncy" clothes! Diamond patterns suit me. Myself and Kocktail Ken headed down to Dubai Creek Golf and Yacht Club to hit a few balls.

Besides the unbelievable architecture, the stunning view of the skyline of Dubai, the assistants at your beck and call, the immaculate greens and the friendly folk, the place is only alright.

Five euro gets you a bucket of balls for the driving range, unlimited balls for the pitching area, which includes two immaculate greens, one of which is equiped with a bunker to practice those sandy shots. You also get unlimited balls for the practice green. So with an invitation to play Colin Montgomerie's course in three weeks time I'm going to brush up on my long, short and medium game. Maybe it is the sport for me.