The gem of a newspaper

I'm going to put up a few headlines from my local newspaper from time to time. Might not seem funny to others but I find them absolutely hilarious. I'm dying to meet whoever writes these. Anyway, this weeks little gems:

"Women urged to lock car doors"
An article reminding women that they are more likely to forget to lock their car doors than men.

"No bus stop, so the bus drives on"
You really have to see this article. There is a picture that takes up half a page of a hole in the ground where a pole used to be.

"Whole two inches is to make all the difference"
An article concerning the height restriction for the gardaí and not what you might think.


"Cow was apprehended doing 33kmph in field and a wall was moving at 17kmph"
An article on the faulty speed cameras in Ireland.

"Bin customer can't pay, but only because bin company won't answer their phones - Clean Ireland apologises and says try again"
This is the longest headline i've seen in a long time.