Not much from the post this week...I think they're on to me

Leniency shown to man who stole seven jars of anti wrinkle cream

Just some article about a polish lad who stole the cream to give to his wife who just gave birth.

Ray's pregnant!

Well, not really. I don't know if i'm coming too late or early with this news but Ray D'arcy is after getting Jenny Kelly pregnant. It's like finding out your parents have sex or something. Disgusting! Below is the couple as they celebrated today on announcing the news to the nation.

Number 1 in the charts 11 years ago today

Boom boom boom, Outhere Brothers.

The final train to leave the station

Well tonight saw the end of an era as the Mystery Train pulled out of the station for the very last time. The presenter John Kelly was audibly moved as he presented his last show. The theme of the night was of course endings. I could not think of a more suitable playlist as John at his very best tried not to shed a tear. I know that the end of the Mystery Train is a big deal for me as I have been listening religiously to the show for the last few years but I had not realized how many loyal fans there were. Mystery train parties were thrown throughout the country and many pubs dedicated the night to the Mystery Train. The first story on the nine o clock news was about the axing of this incredible show! Taking John by surprise were Elvis Costello and Bono who both rang in to show there support for John on his final show. Both were evidently sad and angry that this show is being cut and Elvis even made a personal attack on the new director of RTE that brought about the end of an era.
On a night where I admittedly had a tear in my eye John announced that he will be moving to another radio show. He said that he had signed the papers just today for a new show on Lyric FM Monday to Friday, 2-4.30pm. He said it will hopefully be a kind of continuation of the mystery train but with a classical presence. He said that he won’t be able to play any Led Zeppelin or the white stripes……….for a while anyway. Starting in October this is something to look out for. As the first few notes of Tom Waits’ Blue Valentine started to play John quickly stopped the track saying actually I’ve a better idea. “You see guys, there is a place for us” at which point he played Tom Waits’ version of Somewhere from the musical West Side Story. Quick thinking.
Of course the last song that was going to be played has been talked about for a while. There were people all over the country who had bets as to what this song would be. So much so that Paddy Power even gave odds! Anyway what a fitting way to end the Mystery train than with Jonny Cash singing We’ll meet again. Roll on October and thanks John for the greatest musical journey of my life.

More from that newspaper

Millionaires queue for water
Some of the richest people in Munster have been without water for almost two weeks and are now queuing to collect water in plastic buckets from a milk truck

What has the world come to


Balloons to launch Sixmilebridge festival


Picnic atmosphere prevails in tailback
Despite the frustrations, it was a fine morning and as the delay began to tick past 30 minutes and then into 45 and beyond, drivers started to climb out of their cars to chat. The few Cork bound vehicles that were managing to get through the stop/go system slowed down every few yards to pass on the news to the lengthy tailback. “It’s just road works.” they called, “Nothing else.”
“Breast feeding the shovels again?” quipped back a delayed Limerick truck driver.
“We should have brought our sandwiches” answered another.
But indeed a picnic atmosphere did prevail as a sense of camaraderie developed amongst the stranded and a “the country is going to the dogs” conversation gathered momentum.
Approximately 40 passengers aboard a Bus Eireann bus traveling from Cork to Galway declared themselves “furious” and “very annoyed.” Agreeing that the schedule was now “gone out the window”, driver Pat Callanan said that had he known he could have taken a different route.
Extremely annoyed was a truck driver from Clonlara who said he now had no idea what time he would get home that evening
Mrs Daly said; “At first I thought it was an accident and I wouldn’t mind that. You’d say to yourself that people are hurt, and are being helped. But to find out it’s just roadworks.

Father fined for spin on child’s quad bike
A father who took a late night spin on his son’s electronic mini quad-bike on a public road was charged with driving without insurance or a driving license.
Garda: “He told me that I was a f**king clown and that he was going to get a proper car and ram ye f**king dirty pigs off the road”
He also stated that he was going to England and didn’t “give a f**k what the judge was going to do to him.
Judge Tom O’ Donnell said that it is quite clear that “a garda in uniform is like a red rag to a bull for your client”

Overheard in a graveyard

"That fella's dead so long there's a thistle growing out of his arse that you wouldn't cut with a hay knife''

I just don't know

I don't know what it is about being Irish. If we have our own way of doing something, nothing will sway us. For instance, the other day I was in the queue for the drive through in McDonalds. I could hear the woman in front of me making her order. She ordered just a plain burger, no sauce. She repeated "no sauce" at least five times until she was sure that the lady taking her order understood that she did not want a drop of sauce on her burger. She carried on to the next window where she got her burger and asked for a little request.......a sachet of sauce! She then proceeded to pour the sauce on to the burger. The McDonalds worker was obviously as curious as me with this womans antics so she asked her. The woman replied, "I don't like that type of red sauce you use, I prefer the stuff in the packet" When I reached the window I asked if the sauce is the same sauce as that in the packet and the McDonalds worker of course replied "yes of course".

The gem of a newspaper

I'm going to put up a few headlines from my local newspaper from time to time. Might not seem funny to others but I find them absolutely hilarious. I'm dying to meet whoever writes these. Anyway, this weeks little gems:

"Women urged to lock car doors"
An article reminding women that they are more likely to forget to lock their car doors than men.

"No bus stop, so the bus drives on"
You really have to see this article. There is a picture that takes up half a page of a hole in the ground where a pole used to be.

"Whole two inches is to make all the difference"
An article concerning the height restriction for the gardaí and not what you might think.


"Cow was apprehended doing 33kmph in field and a wall was moving at 17kmph"
An article on the faulty speed cameras in Ireland.

"Bin customer can't pay, but only because bin company won't answer their phones - Clean Ireland apologises and says try again"
This is the longest headline i've seen in a long time.