An audience with the Arabs

After 8 months in Dubai I was finally invited to a 'local's' house for dinner. It's a big deal to be invited to a house over here so I was full of excitement going there. I met the lady of the house in a hotel car park and had to follow her back to her place (very James Bondesque). She set off like a rally driver possessed. I could barely keep up with her in her Aston Martin DB9. The sound of screeching tyres could be heard the whole way across Dubai as I as tried to keep up with this demented lady who would suddenly decide to dart across 4 lanes of traffic without any indicator.

Twenty minutes later and we were entering Mirdiff, or as I like to call it Stiffupperlip. The streets are lined with mansion after mansion. We pulled up outside a magnificent villa and as I walked up to the door I remembered that I would have to take my shoes off before entering. I took off my shoes to reveal a once white sock on one foot and a black sock with a big hole in it on the other foot. Not a good first impression!

I was escorted to a room and was left there to wait on the giant size couches that spread the whole way around the room. After ten minutes the man of the house entered. The next half an hour would be an interview process where he would decide whether I was worthy enoughto have dinner with the family. We talked politics, weather, pollution, travel and organic lifestyles. The man was in his mid fifties with a grey beard down to his chest and had been in Dubai all his life. He is disgusted at all this development that is going on as he is a real traditionalist. He confided that he will not allow his family to eat any food with chemicals in them. Instead he has chickens out the back which provide the eggs and meat and a goat for the milk. Of all the things I thought I would see in Dubai, a hippy Arab was not one of them.

Because they get so passionate about things out here I thought that the shouting meant that I would not be staying for dinner but when he invited me out to the back to watch him kill a chicken I knew that my socks must not have caused too much of an offence. The wife appeared from the kitchen where she had taken off her abia and revealed herself to be an absolutely stunning lady not over the age of 30. Sitting down to dinner I asked the oldest kid what age they were and by doing a little maths the wife was no more than 17 when she gave birth to her first, and now she has 5 kids.

The dinner had a distinctive arabic feel to it with rice, a type of salad and the marinated chicken. It was a very messy operation as I struggled to use my hands to gather up the rice. They had it down to a small art of course. The meal was delicious although the chiken left a little rumbling in the stomach.

After dinner was tea, tea and then more tea. Served in tiny cups. The man of the house asked me if I had enjoyed the meal and seeing my genuine appreciation of the food he boasted of how 'the wife had cooked it', not my wife but THE WIFE. I think he might have more than one but who am I to judge, he was just after feeding me after all.

Gonna miss the rains....

Safari Day One

It's been so long since Africa now that I can't give a chronological order of things. I'll just start with the safari and see what I can remember from there.

We arrived in Arusha after a mammoth 23 hour bus trip (which I’ll document later). The bible we called the lonely planet informed us that Arusha was a dangerous place and at all costs DO NOT trust anyone. It turned out to be the exact opposite. We got off the bus, wearing the same clothes we had worn for 4 days now, looking like hobo's after a mud fight. No one would come near us. No taxis would pick us up and no touts tried to get us to buy a "discount safari" as we were told would happen. Instead we had to trek with our bags until we found a place. But when we found it, it was like we had reached heaven. Showers, hammocks, a restaurant and a bar with cold beer and this.....

A bus full of Swedish models. Heaven.

And this would be our bed for the night.


The next morning we set off on a three day safari with a dodgy looking tour company at a very cheap price (again, against all of the lonely planet's guidelines). The trip included the Serengeti, the Masai Mara and the Ngorongoro crater. Here's what we saw:
The trip started off with a trip to the local hippopotomus pool where over 40 hippos lay around in the water for the day. We couldn't get too close because aparently more people are killed by hippo's every year than any other animal. Looking at them lazing about in the water would not convince you of that, although, their yawn is pretty impressive. The next was the simple giraffe.
Our next sight was to be one of the best sights of the safari. An elephant strolled out from behind a tree and up behind him walked a giraffe. Our guide explained to us what a rare thing it was to see these two animals so close together. It was then that something even more special happened. Something that even made our guide, Miko drop his jaw in amazement.
Miko had been doing safaris for over 17 years and this was the first time that he saw these three animals in such close proximity. I think he was even more excited than us, he was smiling for the rest of the day.
Our next stop was to be at the fight between 2 male elephants. The noise from the clashing of heads would send a shiver up your back. The elephants were so edgy because a fellow elephant had died. I didn't know this but when they die the other elephants cover over the body with leaves and they actually shed tears!

Those were the excitements of day one. Stay tuned for more wildlife.

The 'Dear John' letter

Dear John,

I'm sure that you are now reassured that I haven't been kidnapped in Saudi Arabia and I'm very much alive. My belated new years resolution is that i'm going to be a bit more regular with my posts on the blog. I promise, and i'd just like to take this time to say hello to all in the Revenue Commisioners office. You'll never catch up with me, Mairead.

Your local Arab,

Derek.